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wrx_my00

Looking for a used car/prime minister

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Subject: Looking for a used car

 

John Clarke & Bryan Dawes.

[scene: A car yard. BRYAN is perusing the stock. He is approached by JOHN]

 

John: Morning! Looking for a new car?

 

Bryan: Nope. New Prime Minister, actually.

 

John: You're the third one this morning. Anything in mind?

 

Bryan: You know...... nothing fancy, reliable, economical family model. Something to get the country from A to B.

 

John: You mean like a Howard?

 

Bryan: Yeah...a little Johnny. Nothing flash, does the job. Low maintenance, economical, sensible. Runs for years, no troubles.

 

John: So.... you used to have one?

 

Bryan: Yeah. About 10 years. Great little model - don't know why I got rid of him -- biggest mistake I've ever made.

 

John: What happened?

 

Bryan: Traded him in for a Kevin 07.

 

John: Big mistake.

 

Bryan: Lot of people bought it. Good political mileage.

 

John: How was the Kevin 07?

 

Bryan: Came with a $900 factory rebate - that was good.

 

John: Anything else?

 

Bryan: Not much. Sounded nice but nothing under the bonnet. It was a lemon.

 

John: Didn't stick around for long did it?

 

Bryan: Nah - had a factory recall. Shipped overseas and was never seen again.

 

John: What was the problem?

 

Bryan: Lots. But the final straw was the navigation system. Plug it in and it automatically loses its own way.

 

John: Whatcha got now?

 

Bryan: It's a Gillard-Brown.

 

John: The hybrid?

 

Bryan: Yeah. The Eco-drive system - not a good idea. An engine that can't deliver hooked up to a transmission stuck in permanent reverse.

 

John: Green paintwork with a red interior. And steering that always lurches to the left for no apparent reason - that's the one?

 

Bryan: The Fustercluck model.

 

John: The only one they made, Bryan . Not the vehicle of choice for the road to recovery - but did they finish up fixing the navigation system?

 

Bryan: Made it worse. Turn it on and it does a press release, heads off in all directions and goes nowhere.

 

John: So that's why you're here?

 

Bryan: That's right. I'm stuck with a car that's wasteful, expensive, ineffective and past its use by date. I don't suppose you've heard of the "Cash for Clunkers" scheme?

 

John: Join the queue brother.

Edited by wrx_my00

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